You’re not crazy in love – you’re just straight-up crazy
Nope, not normal at all, soz
- All your exes have thrown around words like “crazy” or “psycho” while they’re ending the relationship. Not a great sign.
- You get an astrological chart done for you and your hot Tinder date (who you’ve not actually met IRL yet).
- On your first date, you ask him how he feels about baby names – specifically, the two you’ve already picked out for the children you’ve decided you’ll be making together.
- And later that night, when you get the bill (because, equality), you sign using his surname...
- You tell him you love him after one date. Just no.
- When bae goes out with the boys, you’re all, “Yeah, sweet babe, all gee,” and then you put on a black balaclava and follow his ass all night. Lurking is so sexy.
- Glancing at your man while he’s sleeping and thinking, “Aww, what a guy” – totally normal. Sitting there watching him sleep for ages – creepy AF. There are boundaries, yeah?
- You hate it when he spends time with other girls. Like, who the hell does his mum even think she is? Rude.
- When he doesn’t answer his phone, you send him 74,378 texts and leave 6290 voice mail messages. Turns out he was in a meeting! How about that, hey? ...