Share houses can be a bitch – but your rent is probably cheap AF, so you’ll get past your occasionally shitty housemates. But you want to make sure YOU’RE not one of those HMs from hell, so use these tips for securing peace at home. (Or send it to any current housemates who seriously need lift their game.) Thank us later.
1. If you don’t want other people to touch your stuff, keep your mitts off theirs. Simples. Respect their space and they’ll (theoretically) respect yours.
2. If you’re lucky enough to bag a flattie who cooks for you on the reg, don’t be selfish. Provide dessert (or at least make them a cuppa after the meal).
3. Always clean up after yourself. Yes, that includes vom. I don’t care how hung over you are.
4. Never flake when it’s your turn to restock the cookie jar. Muy muy importante, mates.
5. If you do eff up, know the problem can be solved with donuts. Donuts fix every thing.
6. Nobody – literally NOBODY – likes cleaning. But you know what’s worse? Living in a stinky, filthy, grotty home. Split the annoying chores and stick to it when it’s your turn. Crank some tunes; it’ll be done in no time.
7. Do not, we repeat, do NOT touch their beauty prods. How would you feel if you planned your whole outfit around your MAC lipstick just to find your flattie had taxed it? Also, hygiene. You don’t know if she suffers from cold sores, hey.
If they have mates over for sexy times, don’t be a third wheel. If it’s 11pm on a Saturday night, GTFO of the lounge room. Best way to make sure they do the same for you when the time comes.
9. Do they have uni exams right now? Or maybe PMS? If your HM seems to be avoiding you, it might not be you. She’s just hating on the world right now and need time to chill out – alone.
10. If you’re onto a good thing, don’t ruin it by being anal. OK, you prefer the mugs to be stacked upside down in the cupboard. But it’s not an issue that’s worth losing a flattie who pays the rent on time.
11. If your HM is in an emotional rut, crack open the vodka/chocolate/Ben & Jerry’s. No matter how tired you are.
12. For God’s sake, be a team player. If something’s pissing you off, Just Tell Them (nicely). Ditch the passive aggressive jabs – you’re here for a good time. Ain’t no body got time for grudges.